Beloved Grandfather

"Here by the river is where I fell in love. The birds were singing gayly in the treetops above. Here by the river, we raised our family, and I’ll stay here by the river, until time comes for me."
                                                                   
 -Charels Vincent Bradshaw

Beautiful poem and a beautiful person. Love you Grandpa. I will always remember your loving ways. You made everyone around you happy. Thank you for being my Grandpa. You were made spacial and you lived a leagues that will never be forgot. Your great example will live on and I was better to have known you. You gave so much and asked for nothing in return. You had a spirit that burned bright and strong. Miss you Grandpa. I am grateful for you and felled with peace knowing this is not the end. God be with you till we meet again.

 Love your granddaughter,
  Tiffany

Live ~ Laugh ~ Love

 It's beautiful how love makes everything else worth going through. Life makes us tough and we learn what pain is. We get bruised and tarnished, but even with all of the heartbreak we still find love. It's up to us how life unfolds and it's in our power to decide what to do with the time that is given to us. Love inside the soul will never die and our light is there when all other lights go out. No matter how hard life seems there's still some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for! We are the fenix because when a new day comes; from our ashes a fire shall be woken. The love inside will be renewed!

Emma Rose

  Mandy had her baby! It was amazing being there when her baby was born. She is so pure and the light of God shines so bright in her eyes!

  I got to St. Marks hospital at 3:30 p.m and Mandy was just getting the epidural. I went into the delivery room with Mandy’s mom and her sisters. Mandy was having contractions and even thought she got the epidural she was having pain in her kidneys. She was so brave and did a great job delivering. Austin was so supportive all the way through the labor and he made my heart swell with gratitude. His treats her so tenderly and she deserves nothing less. :)
  There baby girl was born at 8:00 p.m. She weighs 7.2 pounds and 19”inches. Mandy was pushing and pushing and it felt like it would never end. The first doctor said it was normal for the first baby to take 1 to 2 hours to push out. It was about 2 hours of pushing. Mandy was so tired and happy when her baby girl come out :) I will never forget the doctors handing Mandy her little baby. She’s going to be an amazing mommy because she has a good heart. We were all crying and it was so beautiful. They named her Emma Rose Huffman. She’s our little rose bud :)

The Happiest Place on Earth

Had a wonderful time visiting family in California and we all went to Disneyland!!  My husband’s sister and best friend drove to California with their kids too. Tony had more vacation time then me so he flow to Organ to spend more time with his best friends who is also married to his sister. Tony and Tyler drove from Organ to California together. And that left me to drive California my self. I was very nerves there but I am so proud of my self because I drove to California. It wasn't to bad because I was listening to Twilight in the car. I really like that book.
 We all stayed at my in-laws house and all got up early with James and Brelina Haha They are 2 and 4 yrs old. I couldn't believe how big Brelina was and they are both so sweet:)
 We had a blast at Disneyland with the kids. Tyler had never been and it was fun to spend time with them. Their daughter Brelina went on the Tower of Terror and that ride is pretty scary. She didn't like the ride because it shoots you down really fast. lol They told us that she was smiling and waving going up the elevator, but once it dropped that’s when she was holding onto Tiana for dear life! Haha :) We spent 3 days at Disneyland with the kids and Tyler Tiana, Tony and I had a day for just the big rids the 4th day. The World of Color is the coolest. It's the water show that changes colors and they reflect the pictures of Disney movies onto the water. It's crazy! I love Disneyland because it’s so magical and I just love feeling like a little kids again.

It's been you all along

What did the Buddha want us to follow? He wanted us to follow are own hearts and not worship him. I think that is very interesting. Because I thought he was the divine person, but that's just it he had the divine in him and yet he was human after all. Wow, I don't know why that woke me up to understand that the Buddha didn't have all the answers or have a perfect life. He wanted to know why we suffer and how to be at peace. He found out that suffering is essential and we can't escape it. The only way to finding peace is by going inside and surrendering to what is. If we can't change it, then we must calm are minds and move forward with a brave heart. It isn't a way to solve your problems, but we don't get any were good by being mad or sad all the time! With patients with ones self and kindness to others we can find a purpose. And with that purpose we find joy. That is all there is in this life. To be free to feel whatever it is, but then to let go of it. Clinging to possessions is what makes us selfish. So if we let go of ego and be free from greed we find love for everyone!

My relationship with God has become very different. I see my self as someone that can make miracles happen and that I am the light of the world! God is the center of my being were before I felt him as some were so far away and no matter how hard I prayed or how many times I went to church I never felt him inside my soul. I'm no afraid I'm going to lose my connection with God because we have always been one. He is me and I am him. I am love and the only thing that matters is love. After I felt this in my heart were there was no judgement and I didn't have to prove my self worthy. I finally found peace and how wonderful  this liberation! God is like the rivers currant. Steady to help us on this journey to finding enlightenment. I feel at peace with what is and what will be. This moment is so precious and to be aware of this moment and to feel the Divines presents with you is being one with all.

~ Namista

Sing with me

I loved listening to Deva Premal and Mitin. So precious and in lightening. There Music is so hypnotizing and it helps the Divine to come into my heart. My mind is open and the chantes they sing awakening  the shockra and make me one with all.
 Deva is so beautiful and Mitin's love is so cute! :)
http://youtu.be/l5-WaEwrXak

Forever Free

That which we hide from haunts us.

That which we run from reins us.

That which we avoid creates a void in us.

That which we clutch has a hold on us.

But that which we allow to flow leaves us forever free.

Let It Be What It Is

                                                           Let your life shine

What has happend in the past and what will happen in the future exist only in your mind.
What is happening now is the infinite caress of the universe.
To touch the eternal now and let it enfold you in its infinite love is the essence of being in love.
 What is happening now is the perfect outcome of all you have been, and all you have done.
It is all here to teach you.
It is all her to liberate you.
And it is all perfect.
Release that which is going out.
Embrace that which is coming in.
Leave alone that which has not come.
Want nothing, and embrace everything.
Relax into what is, and what is will take car of you
Let it be what it is.

Make a toast for change

Working hard on my new scrapbook and I think it’s turning out really nice! I love organizing pictures and making them look pretty. Other then my living room being a complete mess after lol I had to clean it up last night because my niece Haylie is coming over today! I love her so much and know she will grow up to be a wonderful young lady. I love reading her books, watching movies and going to the park :) She is just the sweeties little girl. My mom should be back from California tonight. Speaking of California my In-Laws are going to come visit us in a few weeks from L.A. They are great parents and I love them.
Been exercising these past few weeks and it’s been great! I could never seem to find the motivation I needed to take the time to exercise, but I love the ViSalus Shake. My mom is working on promoting the shakes and wants to make money selling it. Today I feel a little sour because I exercised with weights yesterday. I now have something to look forward when I think of workout because after the workout I drink my shake. The Shake taste great and it has protean to help me build muscle. I guess it's harder for a woman to gain muscle then it is for men, but I'm ready for the challenge!
Tony and I are doing really good and he makes me so happy. We have been getting off of work around the same time. Yesterday was so funny because Tony and I both walk home from work and yesterday we walked up to the apartment at same time :)
Work has been a little different now that Shelley got a new job and doesn’t work her. I miss her, but she wanted a full time job. We hired a new guy and I'm going to help train him. He is working night shift and will be working 12-6:00 p.m. for a few weeks. And today my supervisor just asked me if I would be willing to change my schedule starting in October from 7-1:00 p.m instead of 8-2:00 p.m. I don't mind it’s just going to be more responsibility because I will be getting the combination to the safe and having to make coffee for my boss Shane.

I want to visit my dad more so I think every month I will be planning a drive to Logan to see him :) I love my grandma Coy too and know that she won’t be around forever. I also want to spend more time with my cousin Dammie sense she is always getting in trouble with the law. She is be sentenced to a month in jail and I hope it makes her rethink her priorities. It's an easy world to live in and I want to be there for her to help her stay clean and let her know I care. I know I can't change her, but I can be her friends and hope that she has the courage to be better.

Photos of my life

I'm getting some inspiration to scrapbook my childhood picutres
I have picked a few quoutes I like.

"Don’t choose the one that’s beautiful to the world. But rather, choose the one
Who makes your world beautiful"

Surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you.

Life Built on the love of God, will flourish and will weather loneliness and trials because The Love of God Lasts Forever.<3

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about Creating Yourself

Bow chicka wow wow!

No music
No life

We are so cool
Ice cubes are
Jealous

Love completes my life

You were given this life
Because you’re strong enough to live it

Gorgeous
Be Crazy. Be wild

There’s this thing called
Silliness and me & my girls, well… we’ve gone pro

Enjoy the little things in life

Life is the song and you are the melody

Chill Day

I feel like writing, but not sure what... I was going to write about how my friend is having a few bumps in the road and she made some decision that are now catching up with her. But other then rehashing the whole ordeal and letting my ego feel good and my heart feel bad about it lol I'd rather stay positive and not bring either of us down!
It was a nice and sunny day walking to work today :)I love walking to work. I love that I have more energy to be more active. Because.... I don't know how to explain lol   It's not easy to not want stuff thats bad for you, but my body doesn't want sugar. I guess it's knowing I have the power to say no to something bad for my body and it makes all my little nerve endings happy! I made the choice for me to not slow down my body, but putt only things that will make me strong! And I feel good about myself and can't believe all the attention I get from changing my eating habits. I love it, but at the same time I'm faltered yet sometimes if makes me laugh and think " Ok enough already". I just love the new me! :)

Angel

Life has a purpose and I don’t need a lot of things ,but I’ve always wanted something. That’s how the heart grows and expands. Thank you my Divine for always been in my heart because you’re my only truth. You gave love a direction. The freedom is in your eyes. Your hope has moved me to courage and bought me to faith. I need you- Only your love can save me~

~Toss it back into the sea

Where do we go if we can’t get to where we want to be? I know the answer, yet it’s hard to surrender to what is when ego wants what it wants. Not everything we want is always what we can manifest. I can't long for the friendship I felt before. It’s miserable when we attach ourselves to things or even people. So many things can make us feel happy or sad, but true bliss come from inside and only then can we be free! I can only surrender or I risk getting sucked into egos lies…Were I’m no longer the creator of my universe.
My Divine is pure love and that is what I will radiate in my heart without judgment and without fear. The mind is very persuaded in making the story about me where I think I’m alone. I must awaken and feel that I am not separate, but all of creation. These are not my emotions trying to bring me down they are merely universal emotions that want to be set free. To be tossed back into the cycle of life! We are one and we need only to surrender to what is. We must find our duties in what comes to us because every day is a new experience and we can create our bliss. It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out; it’s the grain of sand in your shoe. I must first surrender to the unknown and be able to acknowledge I’m feeling some pain, but after this awareness I see it’s only ego trying to come in, so really there is no pain at all. This is a wonderful feeling because we are one again and so grateful for that emotion big of small! This is all I have to do and I will be brought back to the center of inner bliss. ~
Namaste


Love,
Tiffany

Italy

The Bhagavad Gita—that ancient Indian Yogic text—says that it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.

No town can live peacefully, whatever it’s law,” Plato wrote, “When its Citizens… do nothing but feast and drink and tire themselves out in the cares of love.”

In a world of disorder and disaster and fraud, sometimes only beauty can be trusted.

Only artistic excellence is incorruptible. Pleasure cannot be bargained down. And sometimes the meal is the only currency that is real.

The Idea that the appreciation of Pleasure can be an anchor of one’s humanity

Teal

I went to go hear Teal Scott speak and she is a beautiful inspiring person. Oneness is the key and we have so much love to give.
She asked us if we were happy with our life and with the emotions we feel. How would are life look like in 20 years if we stayed on our current path. I don’t want to feel negative thought or get triggered about things that don’t matter. I want to feel love and gratitude.
Gratitude is a funny thing because Teal is teaching us we must focused on your joy and let it feel up your life. Teal says if we find things we enjoy doing we will have no room for suffering. We only suffer when we resist the things we want. Emotionally we have all the power to make our world bliss.
For example when you’re giving serves to others in all honesty you are grateful to give them serves because they are you. So in the end you are helping and growing by helping them. This is what the ripple effect means. It’s affecting us, our selves just as much the person we are giving the serves too.
There is no separation of souls. It is I because we are one; you are me and I am you.
What we seems to forget is when we let go of negative thoughts we can have room in our hearts for truth.
That truth is we don’t have to like someone to make us feel better. But if we can find the smallest thing about them that we do like.
For example there height or the color of their hair we can move passed what we don’t like about them and focus on finding their best self. Even if it’s not there to just choose to manifest good for them. To see something good they have or could have. Those thoughts will not be focused on I hate him or her it will be “We are the same.” Thoughts create reality
When you surrender to your good vibrations, you will find what you are looking for. This means we are free once we realize we are in prison; we create that for ourselves.
To be in oneness is to realize we are the creators of our universe. You create your life
If you focus on how much you hate life and your relationships you will stay there. Until you create something new and your thoughts go toward creating and focusing on thoughts that want love in a relationship and I want a beautiful life then you will see change for the better.

It will change because you are being true to yourself and by doing so you create bliss.
It’s the eternal Universal thought to where you want to be “What Am I?”
That is a beautiful question and one we all know!

We can in brace life and just be happy for it no matter what…We can’t know light without knowing the darkness. We have to know pain, but we don’t have to be there forever. Without the pain we wouldn’t be able to know we wanted something better. We will always want to grow and this is the only way.
It’s a powerful feeling to finally find the light and peace because we wouldn’t have been so grateful for the light without first knowing the dark…
My desire is so strong for love now we must look at thoughts patterns as the way we achieve bliss. The experience is I want truth and finding that feeling inside you can solve all the hurt. We can start fresh and new every moment!
If we are in the minds prison then we must find the first step to the solution. Then after that step we can keep moving toward letting go of fear so we won’t be trapped there. You might feel fear, then anger, then pettiness, but then one day we can find love for one’s self. We didn’t erase the past because we can’t’. We looked it dead in the face and choice to be free! I want to change and Esperance life with my heart and let go of fear.
We focus so much of what others will say or think when the heart wants what it wants. It doesn’t care what others want for it because it’s only true to your needs and wants.
I know what it feels like to play the tug a war of trying to please yourself and others, but it can’t work!
We think you want what others want for you because it’s what you grew up seeing and it’s a default setting. It’s truly not what you want and until you wake up and be truthful with yourself. You’re going to attract the same things you were taught seeing or same emotions you felt growing up.
The Law of attraction is so important because you attract what you think! “I’m not worthy or I’m a screw up!” Well then you will attract someone with the same mind set as you. It’s finding that little spark of hope to open your eyes to what worth you have. The Divine is so happy to give you love and wants you to Experience life. Open the fluid gates of awareness to the mind. We have to be aware of what we are creating for ourselves.

First feel then with awareness you will know the right time for everything! You must first let yourself trust the heart because without that we stay in fear. We are trapped, but we can take baby steps to becoming awakened. Open your heart with expectance of what is and realize if we resist our paths we get lost in the old story.” What if this would have happened? It’s not about what happened 10 years ago or 10 minutes ago. Because the only moment that counts and you are in control of is now! This moment and nothing else matters. Once you stay in the now state you can see how everything is prefect just the way it is. We don’t have to fix anyone because they have their own higher self guiding them. We can’t make someone understand the path because you must first believe before seeing. It’s only in first surrounding and realizing we can’t be separate and love God. We love God though our souls. So we are Him and He is us. We will never be one without the other. To be free of suffering we must be free of separation. There is one heart and it beats as one forever :)

I see me as one with the Divine. I can trust myself to feel unconditional love for all of creation and in fact pour out my soul to others. The Divines love will seep into them and they will be the ripple effect of my choice to be one with all.
When this happens I am helping the universe heal and this is my worth and purpose!
I now have the energy to give my love to others were before I was getting in my own way. Now the Divine can flow throw me and I become His hands, His heart, and His love.
We can a line with our higher self and feel a higher vibration. To allow and realize we can stay or we can go! We stay in fear or choose to be in tune with the soul. Be one with all~

How do you know we are we need to be is by asking the simple question “How do I feel?” If it’s a bad feeling we must shift the vibration or manifest what we want.
Doing this process and being aware of your thoughts knowing they are universal thoughts. It will be a habit to see life as bliss. To match the solution rather than adding to the problem.

We can be free and it’s not like we push a button and we never feel anything bad again. We must feel both emotions, but we can focus on the good rather on the bad. There is no right or wrong because the
Divine will never let you feel unwanted.
I feel so amazing and so blessed to have met Teal Scott. She is so beautiful inside and out because she made me feel so much hope. She is very enlightened and sees things others couldn’t even imagine.
We can all find oneness by seeing past the things we don’t need and move forward in complete expectance of who we are. We are LOVE…

~Namaste ,

Tiffany

The heart goes on

"I believe in the human heart,
& the power of it to love,
even when such love is unwise
or unwanted. It is and enduring thing,
love is. It will stand bowed, but unbroken.
And when life is gone, love itself my still live on.
This is what I find extraordinary."

Memorial weekend.

I love my family and feel so blessed. I had a great time visiting with my dad and grandma. Amy looked beautiful for the Sealing on Saturday. Haylie is such a little angle. She is the best thing in the whole world because she brightens everyone’s lives! I’m so blessed to be her aunt.


After the temple sealing we had a rainy BBQ lol The food was very good and it was so nice to see my grandma and grandpa Bradshaw :) My grandpa is getting older and it’s not easy, but I’m so glad to be there family and I love them. Everyone was complementing me on how good I looked and it feels so good to be loved:)
Tony & I saw the movie “The hang over 2” I thought it was alright, but way more of a guy’s movie lol I also had a movie night with Kim on Sunday night. We went to blockbuster and rented the movie ”Blood and chocolate.” It’s about a werewolf and Kim wanted to rent it because she just read the book. She said the book is way better! So I barrowed the book from her.Yay! I got to visit with all her sisters. Jenna is leaving with her dad so I don't see her as much. Jenna and Julia’s baby’s are so fun. Such cutie potties!:)
My husband and I went to kung Fu Panda 2 yesterday and its supper cute. I really liked it and want to see it again. Hung out with Monica and walked around the mall and she gave me some of her pants lol I love that I can fit into her pants she doesn’t want anymore. Her son Julian is getting so big! Can’t believe how fast they grow. Emmanuell is so fun and Monica’s daughter Airanna is so sweet. She always wants me to hold her.:)

Surrender pain

"The inner speech, your thoughts, can cause you to be rich or poor, loved or unloved, happy or unhappy, attractive or unattractive, powerful or weak." This is what the mind is capable of making me believe! It's hard and also easy to be aware of thoughts and let them go. We must look at them as little children and realize they are not mine; but the universes. I know I have been worked up this weekend to anger, but we are not perfect. The path of oneness is to appreciate every moment good or bad. That is the hard part because I’m so easy tempered. I want things to be pleasant and easy. I must be able to focus my energy inward and feel the Divine in any circumstance. "Trials teach us what we are; they dig up the soil, and let us see what we are made of." I have moved from the theory that I'm my past. I can move from feeling the past and just let it be. Yes, I have grown from those experiences and come out better for them, but they do not have to be my fears any longer. They are just been expensed and embraced with no longer wanting to change it.
It's like I've been awaken and can see things and feel things I've never expensed before. Like I was in a deep sleep and now see expectance and love for all. "We need God, not in order to understand the why, but in order to feel and sustain the ultimate wherefore, to give a meaning to the universe."

You will fill me with joy in your presence

This weekend was so much fun! I was over at Tasha's listening to music on Friday night. lol Her mom was getting on her last nerve! Ekkk you do not want to see them fight. So I was trying to keep the peace :) I let her listen to this song that reminded me of her. I didn’t think she liked it but last night she texted me and asked what song I showed her and if it was called Fearless. I said yep lol
She had listened to it 3 times that night! She said it made her want to cry. It is a sad song, but I like sad songs because life hurts. It's also uplifting to me to know that things can go wrong, but if we just hold on and have faith. We can make it thought anything!:)
Saturday was so warm and sunny! Yay. My husband and I went to breakfast at Dee's and after asked my sister if I could take Haylie to the park. So Tony, Haylie and I went to Sugar House park and swung on the swings and played coach with Tony's pink ball. It was fun and was so tired from chasing my little niece around.
Been Hanging out with Robyn just barely and we’ve become good friends in the few times we’ve hung out! I think she is so sweet and I'm so excited she is getting married! New friendships are get:) "Joy descends gently upon us like the evening dew."

Fun week

Yesterday was a fun day. I spent time with my husband and then worked out on the Wave for a bit. I hung out with Robyn last night and we had fun just talking and trying to put a puzzle together lol I'm not very patient with puzzles. Robyn is so nice I don't know why It took us so long to really connect because she is so fun! :)
We were talking about how she met Carlos her fiancé and about how Tony and I met. I think it’s cool we both met are husbands online. It's kind of refreshing to have that in common with someone I know because everyone I tell are always weird about it. Hahah
I'm glad Robyn found someone that's good to her because she was telling me she was in a few bad relationships before. I can't wait to go hiking with them on Sunday! Tony's coming with me too and I hope he likes hanging out with them because I think it's really important to have friends. Tonys just so shy and reserved it's not easy to get him out there.
I really want to work out and get toned Gees! lol How many times have you heard that! I don't need to be model thin I just want to feel good and healthy. So I'm done worrying about having the flat stomach or the perfect arms! I just want to be in shape and keep my body happy :) That's not to hard, right? I know it will take effort and determination, but it's so worth it.
I'ts been a busy week! Today I'm going back over to Mandy's and having BLT's for lunch:)I was over there on Monday night to bring her back her dress. Then waited for 3 hours for Austin's Dad to make us dinner lol (It was way good too!)
I wanted to go visit Victoria on Tuesday and show her my scrapbook, but she is trying so hard to provide for her family. I want her to be happy and not push her to be my friend like before. Its wonderful haha I feel so blessed to be aware of the Divine and that he wants me to love and to only feel love back. I can let things go without feeling too much pain because I know God will always do what's best for me.
She was sorry she couldn’t do anything that day, so she said today would be better for her ;) I love her so much and grateful for the time we have shared together. Hope we watch "The Wedding Date" I love that movie and I brought it with to see she if she wanted to watch it because she hasn’t seen it.
I was texting her yesterday about how I want to go camping really bad and the weather is being so difficult! lol She text back "I love camping!" lol It was so cute:) I still remember the year I went camping with her and her family. I miss being a part of her family, but life doesn’t turn out the way we plan. I thought I knew everything and now I know I am nothing because I am only God's love.
It's funny how life changes and we evolve because our hearts are so brave and fragile all at the same time. I know we can't have the past anymore, but the memories last a life time.

The Heart of the Universe

"The inner thought coming from the heart represents the real motives and desires. These are the cause of action."
The mind of the heart is so true to its feelings and needs. I don't always want to listen to it because the ego likes to be proud. It wants to dominate and feel more important. I must surrender to the Divine to feel peace. Everything flows to the rhythm to the Divines grace. Feel the now and to in brace it wholeheartedly. To not have the need to change it, but to merely acknowledge it. Being in the now and not trying to change anything is the only way to be free of the separateness and become one with all. Feel the moment and be aware that everything has its own time and in its own process.
We must let it be where it wants to be and let go! To be truthful to others and in the end you can only do that by being truthful to our selves. "I can forgive you for what you do to me, but how can I forgive you for what you do to yourself." We must take care of the soul and treasure it because it is apart of God.
I feel so close to my Divine Father and Mother. They are within me and I am felled with love. There is no separation of our hearts because we are the same heart and the same mind, forever and ever.
Namast’e: I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you in which is of love, of truth, of light, and of peace. When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place of me, We Are One.

Blessed with friendship

Had a wonderful time at the Deeksha get together on Friday to become initiated as a Oneness blessing giver. It was beautiful, simply beautiful. We gave rose petals to our Divine in gratitude. I love being a blessing giver and sharing my gift with others. Can't wait to share it more and share the love of the Divine with everyone I meet. To just send it to them even if they aren’t even aware I’m sending it to them. It is so fun to live and be free from suffering and be so thankful for the wholeness I feel! I can't feel pain anymore :) It's a wonderful feeling that I can be one with God and have no fear. The most precious of gifts is to love and be loved in return. I don't even have to know the person to love them because they are me. They see what I see and have only love inside them.
There is no struggle because we are the bird high in the sky. Feeling the wind and knowing we are helping the wind by flying in it. :) My relationships are so much stronger because of this realization of oneness. There is only awareness of my connection to God and that he is always there inside my heart.
I reserved a great gift when seeing one of my friends this weekend. I felt our bond and I'm so happy to have been there to share together.:)She is my soul sister and I love her even if we never see each other again. That was so hard for me to except before, but now I’m free.
I will let the Divine guide my life and not try to control the way life unfolds. Life has a magical mystery and I love the unknown because it feels me with wonder. Can't wait for the next moment to revile itself and help me grow. I will grow in love and awareness of life. Live now and feel peace now!I Can only find peace in this present moment. Namista

We flow of Oneness

To be de-clutched from the mind is to lose the sense of ‘self’ as a fixed, separate, continuous entity which we refer to as ‘I’.
This means that you recognize the mind for what it is, which then no longer has power to make your decisions for you. It is not about becoming mindless, but rather about becoming what the Buddhists call ‘mindful’, being present with reality as it is.

To feel the wind of the divine flowing within and rejoicing forever

I am bliss

I can't express how happy I am to have the divine guiding my path. This moment is so beautiful and I thank my God for this moment!
I was descended from feeling week and insignificant before I started Deeksha that it was sometimes hard to breath. From all the emotions running though me I couldn’t see God's love! I was lost in my own head, thinking this was really the only way to live.

What an extraordinary awakening it is! To be free from suffering and know I can merely ask my Divine for help and he will save me every time :)
We all are one and nothing can get in the way of that because there is no residents to what is. To be connecting to the divine is by just being open and clear. Having no noise in the back of your head trying to tell you you’re not good enough.

I love having this awareness that with every passing minute I can just be grateful for my breath. Just be me and not fear the judgments anymore. God only wants me to love. I in brace the path I was always meant to travel because I am home in God!

"Oneness is inner silence, which remains undisturbed by external factors. This silence is not the opposite of noise. That is inner Oneness."

-Sri Bhagavan


"Your life is already organized within itself.”
“Life flows from life, the bud unfolds into the flower, the child ripens into the adult. Trust in each stage, celebrate it, and allow the next one to come to you effortlessly.”

To Be Reborn On Easter Weekend

I'm feeling the hurt! It’s a wonderful hard feeling to feel. I won’t lie my mind wants me to stop feeling that pain, but really I need to feel it because it needs to be healed. Wow, I loved learning Deeksha this weekend and I have grown so much. Deeksha is a gift from God, which is necessary to awaken into Oneness.
I have awakened to feel Gods love. He is now my best friend and my true heart. What I come to learn is when I feel depressed or fearfulness I can remember it's only my minds state. I can feel it and be aware of it yes, but that’s all it needs to be. My acceptance of knowing my hurt and letting God heal it.
I have had 24 hours of awakening and feeling the divine in my core center. I have awoken and have let go of ego and no long desire to be more significance over anyone else. The soul knows we are screwed without God to guide us! We can’t fix anything because we need to have faith and call upon God to help. We can do nothing because I’m not my mind or my body. This is awakening to God.
It’s in trying to understand and letting the minds doubts over power us where we get blocked from the divine. There is only awareness of what’s going on.
For example, I can feel sourness and tightness in my body, but I am free to feel it and don't need to worry about it. I can call upon the Divine to heal my sour body and only then can I be relisted from pain.
I have resonated God inside me and he has given me the peace to be ok with the unknown and with what is. I don't need to change it necessarily because I only need to look at this moment and appreciate the breath I take.
This life and my path here is just how it was meant to be and is perfect right here. To be aware is feeling only oneness and being honest with myself. Suffering happens when we recessed life’s journey. We want it this way or this way. It’s the right way now because here is the only thing you have. Be present in this moment!
Don’t worry about tomorrow or yesterday because it’s not the experience right now. When I surrender to what is I don’t have to fight anything. I can feel God and he will let me know it’s meant to be. It’s only the experienced that matters. This awareness has helped me grow and feel Gods unconditional love.
We create a prison in the mind. Only God and Jesus can heal my heart and everyone else’s. I am the bond between both sides because it’s the divine’s hand that is creating my life! It feels me with so much joy and I’m so excited to live and be a part of this world! Now I love everything and everyone. I can’t hold a grudge because there is only love!
For example, I thought it would take a miracle to love my brother again. It was God’s grace that unraveled my hurt toward me and something I needed to heal inside myself to see my little brother with new eyes. I love him with no judgments; halleluiah I’m free at last!
There is no separation to God and me there is only Divinity.I see the path and don’t have to understand because awakening is where I see the world though the divine! I know I’m not my thoughts or my body because I am merely here to experience what is intended. To having no resistance and to love without end.
What I have come to manifest for myself is that it all wants to be experienced and wants me to have beautiful relationships. I now have the golden ball of light flowing thought me and I have nothing to fear!
I became aware that God is holding me and I can still find peace in every moment. The Divine is the only thing that’s real. Isn’t that amazing? We don’t have to try to be anything because the divine is working thought us and we only need to let him in.

I feel balance with my Divine and my heart is open and I love myself for who I am! The ultimate gift is to be able to pass Gods love on and receive love from others in return. Namaste!

The path to wisdom

Every day I get up get ready for work. Rush to make something for breakfast and run out the door. It's a busy world we live in and if you’re not paying attention you will forget what life is really about...

I have come to realize that money isn’t everything, go figure right? I have had a really hard time with fiancées these little while and it’s kept me from enjoying what matters most. My husband is my heart and I would be lost without him. I love my sister and my niece so much. I want to make more memories with my parents because they are the sweetest parents. I have great friends that have stuck by my side and we have so much fun together. Love them all and want to be there for them.

I know we need money to survive and it’s easy to make it work if you’re responsible with it. I know I don't have to lose my mind worrying about money even if it's something I have to deal with. It's how I look at the situation that can get me down or I can stay positive and realizing life isn’t perfect.

I was at my mother's house the other day and she has a new picture on her wall and It said :Life doesn’t have to be perfect; to be wonderful: I took a minute for the words to really sink inn and its true! Life is just how its support to be and we have every opportunity to be happy just because. I think it's a relief to just be me and know I can do it because it’s how God works. He loves me and God will forgive me because that's His job. I don't need to be perfect I only need to do my best.

I'm going to keep my head held high and I will shine my love were ever I go!

"You can't have a rainbow without any rain." This is one of my favorite quotes, because it's absolutely true. And it gives hope to people going through hard times. If you just stay strong through them, things will get much better.

Lessons to be learned

I'm going a little steer crazy because I’m so worried about this stupid photo shoot! It's making me truly ill just thinking about it. I know I shouldn’t worry about it something so stupid, but I can't seem to stop obsessing over it... I wake up thinking about what I'm going to wear how ridiculous I am for even thinking I could be a model. And yet I can't get my money back for it so I should just relax and do the shot. I wasn’t thinking it throw and rushed into it. I payed $170.00 for the gym shoot were I should have said no and I also payed for a $350.OO for an all day photo shoot at the Salt Flats. I'm excited for that one, but still know I shouldnt have got sucked into it. I would love to make money modeling clothes and being in magazine, but I'm one out of a million girls that want to do that! I just need to realaxe and focus on the things I can control. This is something I decided to do and by golly I’m going to take this pictures and I'm going to like them lol
So in all honesty I need to start saving money and not look for a short cut to make easy money if it sounds to good to be true. Learn for life and move forward. That’s life!

Spontaneous Trip

Were back from California wow what a weekend! Tony, Luke and I drove up on Friday. Tony's parents were happy to see us and we went to the Zoo Saturday and had a really fun time there. We went to Six Flags on Sunday and Monday. The rides were crazy and so much fun! My mother in-law loves roller coasters and we were there all day long. My legs are still sore from all the walking we did. My two favorite roller coasters were Tatsu and Apocalypse. My brother Luke was super exited to ride the Superman ride and bought a superman cap. We went on Apocalypse 8 times because no one was on it so they let us keep riding it :)
My mother in-law told me I was her inspiration to lose weight because she has seen how much I have lost with no sugar and watching what I eat. She has lost 20 lbs! It felt good to hear she is getting healthier because she sees how important it is to take care of herself. It's a big commitment to make the choice to eat better. To me it didn’t feel like that big of a sacrifice I guess because I know it would make me feel better. I didn't want to feel pulled down anymore by not giving my body what it needs! I really do feel like its poison for my body to eat candy and soda all day long. It's not doing my body one bit of good.
I hope she can lose more because it will reduce her risk of trouble down the road.
I had a wonderful trip with my family and love spending time with them :)

"We have no problems, only situations. Not all problems have solutions,
but all situations have outcomes."

It's official!

I'm so happy today and with the direction my life is going! Yesterday I made my sister go to the Social Society Office with me to change my name :) I have been putting off changing my last name to Smith only because it takes a lot of work to get all your paper work into the new name. I love that I'm going to be Mrs. Smith. I love being married to Tony and I know the the best is still yet to come :)
We are going on a little road trip this weekend to California. It's crazy but so exiting! Tony and my brother want to go on this superman ride that’s goes over 70 miles per hour. wow that’s fast haha. And he really wants me to go with him too so I’m taking a few days off work. And he said just tell your work it’s for our 6 month anniversary. I almost forgot about it... and they say the man always forgets. It will be 6 months we have been married on saturday the 9th of April .<3 His is so sweet to remember it!
Can't wait to go to California and be in warm weather. It's April and it’s still freezing and it might snow this weekend! What is going on? I'm going to love getting in Tony's parents hot tube :)