There are a lot of ways to live and I’m struggling to find out the best way for me. It’s hard keeping the faith. Faith in God, Faith in each other, and faith in myself.
I’ve been a very indecisive person and I’m just realizing it. I want to have conviction in what I believe and in what I want! To be happy in the now because I woke up another day. To help others and find my passion in life.
Everything has changed because I’m not the same person I was before I married Tony. Before I met him I wanted to be Mormon, but I love him with more conviction then I can explain. It’s the same with my love for God and that’s how I knew he was the right one for me. I just feel pulled in two different directions because I love my family and I love Tony’s family. But we can’t live by both families. I’m not happy with my living situation because we don’t want to be tied down in a lease. Yet, we don’t want to live with my mom because she isn’t clean. Its nuts to stay when I know we want to move. Yet I’m worried about moving because it scares me to think I’ll be without my friends and family. I feel so comfortable with them, I don’t always feel as comfortable with my husband’s family. It’s normal because I grow up with them and know them so well. I’m glad Tony came back to Utah. He loves me and missed his job.
I was drawn to this life for a reason and I feel terrified to be in this complex world, but completely in love with God who is guiding me. Life is wonderful because I choose in how I want to live. Nothing buys or brings happiness. It’s within you. It’s a choice to see the beauty in the simple things, look closer at the beauty of nature all around you.
I am happy because I love myself. I love my
divine. I’m grateful for others to share in my life and I will meet more beautify
souls along the way.
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